I actually have a relative (long story) who in their evangelical, zionist, fundamentalism wanted to be kosher. The problem was they never really got the memo that ham was not kosher. We went to dinner with them as they sat proclaiming how wonderful it was to be kosher while stuffing themselves with baked ham!!
I'd have had to let them in on that little jewel at RIGHT AFTER COMMENTING on how delicious this ham was, where did they get it, blah blah blah, and how on EARTH did they manage to con someone into to proclaiming a PIG kosher!
but, then again, I'm not really the light of the party at my own family functions.....
My ex-mother in law is this brand of kook too. Used to be a Christian, but is now some kind of Christian/Jew/Whackjob blend that demands to eat kosher but it's ok to steal cable, that kind of thing.
My Jewish friend's family has spun out of control...her husband's brother has decided to go ultra ultra orthodox (Lubovicher), but only when somebody is around to see him, so his wife and kids have chosen to live in another city! Her nephews from the other brother have decided to join the "Jews for Jesus" movement. These are Jews who have decided that Jesus was the messia after all, but that doesn't make them any less "Jewish" in their lifestyles. They are really down on pagan symbols like Christmas trees and holly, though it is a little discontinuitive to drop into their house and see a creche. Meanwhile, Myrna has put up a nice Christmas tree in her front yard decorated with tiny menoras and a huge banner proclaiming "Merry Christmas", and her husband has invited us to drop in for New Years dinner...he dug the barbeque out of the snow to cook some of his famous grilled bacon. I have just given up answering the phone because it is always a telemarketer, and I can't help myself from telling the person on the other end that "all those kids dying of cancer/liver disease/insert disease of your choice are fullfilling G-d's plan, and to leave me alone".
I have to go and shovel my roof now. A yard of snow is about all it will take, and we are expecting more tomorrow. You all have a nice day y'hear! and try to not let the "whackjobs" ruin your perfectly good Christmas.
mutter, mutter...this time of year they come out of the woodwork....mutter mutter.
12 comments:
Very Funny!!
Cheri
For the 'Less Than Orthodox' celebration.
Um...okay this has got to be the funniest thing I've seen all day.
Yes...this has made the news all over.
I actually have a relative (long story) who in their evangelical, zionist, fundamentalism wanted to be kosher. The problem was they never really got the memo that ham was not kosher. We went to dinner with them as they sat proclaiming how wonderful it was to be kosher while stuffing themselves with baked ham!!
LOL!!
HP, that is craziness. How did you ever keep from busting out laughing?
I'd have had to let them in on that little jewel at RIGHT AFTER COMMENTING on how delicious this ham was, where did they get it, blah blah blah, and how on EARTH did they manage to con someone into to proclaiming a PIG kosher!
but, then again, I'm not really the light of the party at my own family functions.....
My ex-mother in law is this brand of kook too. Used to be a Christian, but is now some kind of Christian/Jew/Whackjob blend that demands to eat kosher but it's ok to steal cable, that kind of thing.
Sorry for the deleted comment...why can't they just let you edit comments? Anyway, what I was going to say....
"kook" is definately the right word for this relative, CV.
Usually laughter is NOT what I have to refrain from bursting out with!!
Ah, family...
My Jewish friend's family has spun out of control...her husband's brother has decided to go ultra ultra orthodox (Lubovicher), but only when somebody is around to see him, so his wife and kids have chosen to live in another city! Her nephews from the other brother have decided to join the "Jews for Jesus" movement. These are Jews who have decided that Jesus was the messia after all, but that doesn't make them any less "Jewish" in their lifestyles. They are really down on pagan symbols like Christmas trees and holly, though it is a little discontinuitive to drop into their house and see a creche. Meanwhile, Myrna has put up a nice Christmas tree in her front yard decorated with tiny menoras and a huge banner proclaiming "Merry Christmas", and her husband has invited us to drop in for New Years dinner...he dug the barbeque out of the snow to cook some of his famous grilled bacon. I have just given up answering the phone because it is always a telemarketer, and I can't help myself from telling the person on the other end that "all those kids dying of cancer/liver disease/insert disease of your choice are fullfilling G-d's plan, and to leave me alone".
I have to go and shovel my roof now. A yard of snow is about all it will take, and we are expecting more tomorrow. You all have a nice day y'hear! and try to not let the "whackjobs" ruin your perfectly good Christmas.
mutter, mutter...this time of year they come out of the woodwork....mutter mutter.
Merry Christmas everybody.
Here, everybody gets a used battery in their stocking this year.
Its okay...they are free of charge.
wink...
Are you ok Dove, I have not heard from you in more than a month!!!
Thats not normal.
So sorry I missed this very englightened conversation, lol!!
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