When the hunters become the hunted.....

I told you how I have become a fan of the TV show Ghost Hunters. What I didn’t realize was that 'fan' was a major understatement. I am, in fact, apparently, an insanely obsessed stalker….

The TAPS guys were in Dayton last week investigating claims of the paranormal at Wright Patterson Air Force Base. Growing up here, you hear all these stories about long-dead pilots who refuse to leave their planes, particularly the WWII planes on exhibit at the museum. Paranormal investigation groups have tried for years to get in there, but have all been turned away because Wright Pat is pretty darn important in terms of military bases. So it’s really exciting that Ghost Hunters was personally invited there by an employee, and actually got Pentagon clearance to do it! Really, I can’t even describe how huge that is.

My coworkers and I were really bummed to learn that they were going to be doing a Meet and Greet at the base one night… only those with base clearance were able to attend. But then our court runner came back from a run and mentioned that he saw their van parked outside a hotel just two blocks from our office! So in a momentary lapse of sanity, I allowed my friends to talk me into walking over there on our lunch hour on the outside chance that we might spot them.

Friends, it is freezing outside. 10 degrees, wind blowing snow in your face, freezing. And you all know how much I LOVE the cold. Only a possible sighting of this man could have caused me to willingingly freeze my ass off like that:

So there we were, a bunch of thirtysomething, professional women, going to stake out a celebrity’s hotel like a group of thirteen year olds hoping for a glance at Hannah Montana. We braved the fierce winter winds to walk the two mile-long blocks, laughing at our own ridiculousness as we made our way to the hotel. We had a plan to eat lunch at the hotel restaurant, so we didn’t look conspicuously like the stalkers we were. We got there and the van was no where in sight, but the hotel has its own parking garage, so it was possible it was parked inside.

Well, the entire hotel was deserted, including the restaurant. The only people there were hotel employees, and they didn’t look like the sort who could be talked into divulging the whereabouts of our hunky ghostbusters. Then we glanced at the restaurant menu and decided a $12 salad wasn’t worth it, since the van was gone and we didn’t even know if they were there. Damn. Froze my eyelashes for nothing!

Then, as fate would have it, as I was in my car on my way home from work, I turned the corner by the hotel and there was the van!! If only I had had my camera with me. Luckily, I only live a few minutes from downtown. So I raced home, grabbed my daughter and my camera, and headed back.

On the way, I outlined our covert operation to my daughter. If the van was there, she would lean out the window as we passed and take a picture. Then we would have dinner at the hotel restaurant, and maybe, just maybe, we’d see them. Surely we had a better chance at dinner than we did at lunch!

We reached the hotel and I’m going like 5 mph in rush hour traffic while Noelle snapped pictures out the window, both of us laughing hysterically…..not the least bit conspicuous. I pulled into the hotel parking garage and was immediately stopped by a valet. What?? Dayton has valet parking?? I had not anticipated this.

The guy asked if were checking in, and I, being quick on my feet, said no, we were just visiting a friend. “Okay,” he said, “what’s their room number?” Ummmmm. "I don't know the room number. “Okay,” he said, “what’s their last name?” At this point, Noelle is poking me and whispering through gritted teeth “Forget it, Mom! Let’s just go!” No way, Jose. Those guys were in there, and I wasn’t leaving without a photo of them!

So, my friend’s name? I couldn’t say the TAPS names, that would be too obvious, it would blow the whole operation. “Ray” I lied, and watched nervously as the valet wrote it down. “Okay,” he said, “it will be charged to the room when they checkout.” !!!! Oh crap. "Now just give me your keys." Noelle is flipping out next to me, saying this is a bad idea. “Be quiet!” I whispered angrily. I handed over the keys and got out of the car. I walked calmly into the hotel, dragging Noelle behind me.

Once again, the hotel was deserted, including the restaurant. The only people there were the same employees who had seen me 6 hours earlier, who were now eyeing me suspiciously. Especially since I was fervently trying to calm my child, who was now beside herself that I had just handed my keys over to a complete stranger, and charged valet parking to non-entity!

If she hadn’t been with me, I would have plopped myself on a bench with a magazine for the rest of the night waiting for the Ghost Hunters to show their faces. Eventually they would have to come to the lobby! But it was dawning on me that my daughter just doesn't have the stomach for the lying and sneaking around required of covert operations. (Which, in hindsight, makes me very proud.) I had no choice but to accept defeat.

We walked back to the garage, where I apologized to the valet and said my friend had not checked in yet, got my car back, and drove home wondering WHAT IN THE HELL had just come over me. Noelle wondered the same thing, as she promptly called every one of her friends the minute we got home and said, “you won’t believe what my mom just did!”

Well, we did get a picture of the van at least, which has made me the envy of my coworkers. Yes it’s dark and grainy, as stakeout photos usually are…..